i can't wait to moove! i'm signing the lease tomorrow!

and while i'm over on northloop, we'll stop by room service to look around

yesterday i was starving! so i remembered under the microwave, we had this:


and it seemed soo good to me! mat's aunt bought it at an army store & gave it to his mom to give to him.

so! i opened it up, and got it ready to eat! i was suprised how many things came in it. there was the bean & rice burrito, picante sauce, crakers, peanut butter, peaches, fudge cake, a brown plastic spoon, salt, salt-free seasoning, iced tea mix, apple cider mix, moist towelette, napkins, matches, a solar heater, & charms hard candy!

what a full meal!

so i warmed up the burrito in the microwave & put some picante sauce in a dipping bowl. i put the crakers on the place and opened the peanut butter for it & made the tea:



i also had the peaches later and ate some charms with mat this morning

last night was the BEST! i had so much fun! i couldn't stop giving james and caitlin hugs, i love them so much.

we had a photoshoot for the GLAM JAM video last night & they came out all hott looking, haha, i can't believe it! i got to dress up in 5 different outfits (2 especially from james for me) and caitlin helped me put my makeup on and fix my hair and uughh, it was so fun

pictures real soon!


caitlin put some on her blog: shinykid.blogspot.com

woah, i'm so nervous!

i just got a call from the owner/manager at Mother's Cafe and he said he's looking for someone & wants another interview with me!

it's tomorrow @ 11:15

and i have another interview at Wish @ 2:00 auuuuhhh

i'm real nervous because Mother's has such a huge menu..but then again, i can be brining home some food..but also i have to carry trays there! and i've never carried any huge trays like that.  plus they're regulars that go in there a lot and what if nobody likes me?!  i get myself so stressed

but i need money! and this is great, i just hope i don't fuck anything up if i get one of those jobs~or both!

tomorrow is the day that decides whether we will get the tree house or not.  i want everything to go perfectly!  i want to be the first one there and try to explain to the guy that we don't just want it because it's cheap, we want it because it's our dream home.  mat and i have always talked about living in a tiny little place, ugh, and it's perrrfectt.

so wish me luck! 

yesterday i got an application from Mother's Cafe, and i turned in a resume to Dhaba Joy & Toy Joy.  I really just want to work in a little cafe somewhere, but nobody really hires from those jobs.  Today i applied at American Apparel online, and i hope i can get a call back on that~  i gave 3 pictures of myself, and i hope they look good enough to get me in, hah

me and mat we grocery shopping again today, and we just went over like 50 cents on the foodstamp card

i don't know if i'll go to that party tonight..i'm so nervous about the open house tomorrow & i don't want to be too tired or anything..plus i don't even have anything to wear!

it's been so nice hanging out at chris & andy's house and seeing caitlin everyday and talking about stuff i always want to talk about.  i DON'T want to be like the carpenter guy on Seinfeld..

there was an episode with this man that would be so indecisive and always ask about the littlest details and it was SO annoying! and i totally know that i'm like thatttt

i had a very scary dream last night that i was watching all these people dieing in front of me.  like being tortured by creatures.  they were exploding from the insides, and skin was being torn off them and the heads falling off and it was so scary.  i didn't want to go back to sleep after i finally woke up.

also, getting flipped off is something i really don't like.  i didn't know that till someone did that to me last night, but i guess it's just his kind of humor or something..

mat and i were supposed to go out looking for jobs and stuff, but i slept for too long

i have such good news though! i got an email back form the tree house realtor saying that he was sorry for the misunderstanding and that i can mail him the application & asked how long i'd like to rent it for! ayiiieee, i'm so excited

but i'll try not to get too excited.  mat's birthday was real nice, i didn't buy him tons of presents, but he said he still had fun.

maaaaan that crazy girl victoria girl just came in here.  she dumped a pile of poppies on james' floor and went totally nuts!

she was saying "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU JAMES" and she called him "DJ SLUT" and told jessica to be naked with james

and i couldn't even help james.  james asked me to, but i was so scared! :[  i thought she had a knife on her, and she'd slit me open or something.

she was screaming soooooo loud & punching and slapping james to where james locked himself in the bathroom, maan

and poor mat is feeling so horrible about it

my heart was pounding out of my chest i had to cover my eyes, i was so scared!

last night i dreampt i was paris hilton's servant.  she wanted some new hat from a magazine that cost over $200, so i went to get it for her.  it came in this clear plastic casing that was shaped like the hat & i got it for free because i said it was for her.  i

 was on my way to take it to her, when i saw this huge suv that was made up of just a fish tank & thought it was perfect for salmonella, but it was broken from all the wieght of ropa cubes stacked in it.

then i woke up, but i felt i wanted to go back to sleep so i can give her the hat, even though i knew she already forgot about it.

3 & 1/2 inch screen, plays DVDs, music, USB & SD card compatible with an audio input, GPS & radio (remote ctrl included) equals my new

december 14th was a magical amazing day.  i've never had so many suprises!!

okay, so i had my appointment to get my braces off that day at 1:30...but mat couldn't come becuase...well i don't know..no gas money and stuff like that.  so i went and sat by myself in the very corner closest to the door where they call you in.  it was so wierd going without matthew next to me.we had talked to each other while i drove to the dentist. 

i was totally planning on suprising him and driving to see him and to show him my teeth.  so~i was sitting alone, in the corner, when i notice this tall person walking in my direction, i thought nothing of it..just probably some person going to use the bathroom.  then they sit down next to me!  i saw the shoes and the long skinny legs and it was my matthew~!!! he came the the dentist to suprise me!  it was soo so soo nice, and i got teary eyed and hugged him and giggled so much.  i was so happy to see him, & so excited becuase he's never suprised me like this before!

he told me that he wanted to come because he knew it was a real big deal..a big thing^-^

before

i feel so inspired, but i have nothing to do.  what's really inspiring is rugrat's very first episode.  it's amazing, all the angles they used. 

i need to make some boxes for my tape release, but the boxes i make are perfectly squared, so i have to figure out a way to make it fit the tape perfeclty..and what kind of design and suprise to put in there.  i want to make them all professional looking.  i need more friends!

i don't know if people like my new tummy toast songs.  after i put some up on my space, i didn't get ANY comments or messages, except from my #1 fan in kansas.  i hardly got any listens either.  i try not to care about those things, but it makes me happy getting coments, messages, anything

i run out of things to do on the internet really fast.  if i don't get any notifications of mesages/emails from myspace/livejournal, i just close my laptop and watch stupid boring tv.  well, i guess if i just kept my golden_octopus account, i wouldn't really have this problem, i just always want to change, guuh

my trooper is getting more presents than i am.  my dad got it a new belt, and it's getting a new music player thing.  i picked out this awesome one with a little tv screen on it, yah~!

i still owe him $400, but i won't bring that up till ever

but auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugghh.  when i move to austin, i'm totally making more friends. 

*me and mat are making more friends

i saw this online and loved it..it's how i want to get them painted next, and i did! even though the background colour is white and not gold, it still looks awesome.

i need to let it out some how, but i don't even think writing will help.  i don't know how to make him understand that he's not insignificant. if i'm not doing a good enough job right now of making him feel wanted, i don't know how i can do it trying.  he says he doesn't even feel like he's my boyfriend, just my biggest fan.  so i don't know how i can help, it just makes me even more depressed.  i feel selfish for not helping him, but i have no idea what to do anyways.  it just makes me so sad and feel like crying.  i feel so helpless or useless, i just want to delete everything on the internet and make myself disappear from the world.